Letters to The Family: Cheryl

Last week zoomed by so quickly that I forgot to post our next letter. This week’s letter comes from one of my newest friends. A few months ago, I was chosen from 5000 people to be one of 500 to be a part of a launch team for Jen Hatmaker’s next book which releases in August (but is available for pre-order now). This amazing group of 500 has become the most life-giving, genuine online community I’ve ever experienced. We are all gathering in September. All 500 of us…or those who can make it. A handful of these new friends happen to live in my city, so we decided to have our own little hangouts. One of these is the dearest Cheryl Moses. She is a gatherer of people and she shines with such joy! I haven’t known her long but I’m so glad I know her now!

CherylIn her own words, Cheryl Moses is the  Secretary and Ladies’ Ministry Leader at Calvary Community Church in Houston, TX. She has been at Calvary for 24 years and in that time her understanding of who Jesus is and how big His love is for her, has grown considerably. “I’ve always had a heart for serving others and ministering to women. Yet for all that I am and profess to be, a re-purposed mess may be the best description I can give for myself. If God can use me to touch just one soul through anything I say or do, then my life has been well spent.” Cheryl is single and the mom to Beau, a beautiful black Shar-Pei mix, and Ebby, to a host of babies and toddlers at her home church.

Dear Family,

I could not be more appreciative of the many ways in which you’ve nurtured me and so many others along the way. I have been extravagantly blessed by the many ways I’ve been poured into over the years, but I’d like to share with you a few things I think you should know.

Be kind to singles. Please don’t ignore us.

Please don’t lump us into a group and then close the door on us, never to check in or inquire as to how we’re doing. Consider that we walk a different path whether by choice, circumstance or in waiting, and our lives are distinctively different from most.

Invite us to serve. Ask us personally, to do so. Please don’t ask the group and consider that our “special invitation.” See in us something worthy of pursuing – a gift you need in order to be complete as a whole. We want to be included.

Don’t assume that we have no interest in coming together with others who are not in our place in life, because that’s just not true. We understand the value of gleaning all we can from those in different life stages. We value your wisdom, your insight and your perspective on things and we hope you value ours.

We are not spiritually “less than” because we are only one individual. We have as much of the Holy Spirit as you do and our singleness does not make us incomplete or incapable of serving the purposes of God in any arena because we are just one entity. We have The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit living inside of us. So I guess that trumps all suspicion. If anything, we have less distractions to pursuing the Lord more passionately, and more persistently. So please don’t assume that we are less spiritual because we’re single and our life choices are different.

Lastly, please recognize that at times our life can be very difficult, especially in the waiting. Love from our brothers and sisters, hugs, kind words, invites to lunch after church and the occasional, “I’m praying for you,” impact us more than you will ever know. We may not say it or often let on, but being single sometimes is hard. Recognizing this fact and then making us aware that you care, can make a world of difference in a rough day.

Remember, we’re just like you, only we sleep alone! We talk to our pets instead of kids and we only have to pick up after ourselves. Our hearts yearn for what yours does: more of Jesus, to bring Him honor and to live our lives to the fullest in whatever stage of life we might find ourselves. See, we’re not so very different.

Blessing you,



  1. Thank you for this, Cheryl. You are beautiful and wise, and I wish I lived in Houston so I could invite you over. It’s definitely easier for me to build community with those in the same life season as I am, but I’ve never been richer than when that community includes people in different seasons (or time zones as the case is now that we live overseas!), so it’s worth it.


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